Unfortunate newspaper layout highlights capture of world’s most adorable sex offender.

Meet Colby, a 2-yr-old Pomeranian/Sociopath mix. Colby is full of energy and loves people, whether they want him to or not. Colby also loves playing with toys. His favorites are a roll of duct tape and a switchblade. He has all his shots, though he has yet to be neutered. The ideal home for Colby is a maximum security farm upstate. If you're interested in adopting Colby, please contact the San Mateo Country Sheriff's Department A.S.A.P.