Mitt Romney becomes tan around Latinos like a magical political chameleon.

"My hands are white, my face is brown. I'm like America. Want to see my Asian parts?"

A story: You're Mitt Romney's campaign advisor. You plan a nice little sitdown with Univision and a rally in Miami, and you think "time to gain some ground with Hispanics after that self-deportation problemo we had in the primaries." Then suddenly, out of the corner of your eye, you see Mitt walking out of a Hollywood Tans with Snooki and John Boehner. "Will this help me with Latinos?" Romney asks. "I'm from Ohio," says John Boehner. "Listen, Mitch," says Snooki, "tanning works with everybody. Italianos, latinos, chinese-os. Whatever." Mitt realizes he forgot to tan his hands and it's in his hair. You have already dialled your PR guys and put an embargo on the word "brownface." Then you try to delete all these pictures from the Internet: