How to shame a passed out college student in the politest way possible.

Though it is somewhat refreshing to see strangers trying to help unconscious strangers instead of drawing penises on their faces, one can't help but be a little suspicious as to why this girl's friends "dipped" without taking her with them. After all, if there's one thing we all know about college girls it's that they can barely handle leaving their BFFs alone to take a crap, let alone passed-out by themselves on some strange dude's couch. So where are the friends, huh? Frankly, there's a good chance this girl has no friends at all and is simply using this party as some sort of Trojan Horse-style ruse for cleaning these guys out while they're sleeping. Thank god they remembered to ask her not to rob them! Could have been a disaster otherwise.