A terribly inappropriate greeting card Snooki would appreciate.

It's only been 24 hours since baby Lorenzo (Italian for "Ratings Booster") made his journey through the undoubtedly wide canal that is Snooki's vagina and into the world he's soon to wish didn't allow people like his mother to have babies — which means you still have time to buy her a card! Specifically, we recommend you this one because if there's anything degenerate Ooompa-Loompas enjoy it's pretending their index finger is a baby's penis! Mazel tov, Snook-Snook!