What the Fortune 500 will look like in the future thanks to you wasting your life on the Internet.

The people over at Doghouse Diaries don't seem too optimistic about the future of big business, and frankly, who can blame them? Current Fortune 500 players like Citigroup and Pfizer really aren't offering many forward thinking products — like retweet based CD rates and Goatse Rohypnol — so how they expect to compete against the likes of Apple Lawyers, LLP remains a mystery. Thus, if you're saving for the future, we highly recommend taking what little money you have left from your Facebook investment and spreading it around the Solutions to Annoying Internet Bulls**t sector. Then, of course, around 2035, you're going to want to pull your money out of that and put it into the Anti-Robot Overlord Missile sector.