Weatherman has most metaphorical orgasm in television history.

Meet the only weatherman who makes you pay five dollars per minute to watch his reports. The only way this could be more of a point-by-point recreation of the last time he masturbated is if he next forecasted "a brief shower to clean things up, followed by a few minutes of shameful, lonely cloud-cover, we'll see some light crying, and then we'll leave the men's room and return to our desk kind of excited by how naughty we feel."