How to get your coworkers to spice up their obnoxious phone conversations.

Guys, if you want to incessantly chat on the phone outside this door, you're going to have to do better than "Are you picking the girls up from soccer?" or "What movie do you want to see tonight?" We want to hear about your torrid, whispered love affair with the neighbor's wife, or the intricate groundwork you're laying to stage a coup d'etat on the regional manager. You're already interrupting the hell out of our workday. You might as well make it worth our while.