5 Really Strange Ways to Cure a Hangover

The following is an excerpt from
50 Ways to Cure a Hangover

Got a hangover? Here’s a brief sample of some of the strangest ways to
cure a hangover:

19. Build up a Sweat

Ever
wanted to lick your best friend’s sweaty armpit? The answer is probably
no, unless you have some deep-rooted and, frankly, disturbing fantasies.
However, this strange post-drinking ritual was thought to be a sure-fire
cure to the demon hangover by the Native Americans of yesteryear.

Instead of sleeping off a big night out, they would run around to build
up a sweat, then would lick it off their bodies and spit it out – the
idea being that the poisonous alcohol would come out in the sweat and
their bodies would recover at a quicker rate. Maybe it did work, but more
likely the thought of lapping up the morning-after excretions of your
drinking pals was enough to banish the hangover anyway.

24. Bury Yourself in Sand

If you do want to try this out for yourself, remember that it’s a lot
of hard work to end up damp, cold, and immobile. And don’t even think
about it if you offended any of your friends in the bar the night before.
Sand is heavy, and this is the perfect revenge for drunken insults.

32. Rustle Up Some Peanut Butter on Toast

The magic combination of protein from the peanut butter and the carb-loaded
bread is at work here. Some food cures require a basic knowledge of cooking,
but this simple snack is ideal for kitchen wimps and the plain lazy. No
effort is involved in slapping huge dollops of peanut butter on a couple
of slices of toast, and you could be on the road to recovery in a matter
of minutes.

If this seems like a Herculean task when your insides are churning like
a cement mixer, prepare a peanut butter sandwich before you go out in
the evening, put it in the fridge, and it will be ready when you need
it the next day. If opening the fridge is beyond your capabilities, then,
unfortunately, you’re a lost cause.

33. Try Something Fishy

There can't be many people who would have liked to live in the Middle
Ages. Apart from being mutilated for minor crimes and living ankle deep
in mud and cow shit, you couldn't even enjoy a few after-work drinks without
dreading the next day. There was nothing nice about hangover "cures"
in those days, either: no ginger tea or freshly squeezed orange juice.
If you were suffering the aftereffects of one too many tankards of Filcher's
Pisswallop, you'd be presented with a platter of dried eel and bitter
almonds.

Perhaps there is something to be said for this particular combination
of protein and salt, but chomping through a mound of dry fishy chunks,
that could send a diner’s stomach into freefall when there probably wasn’t
much comfort in a bathroom in the Middle Ages, sounds like hell.

43. Eat a Canary

It’s
not an ingredient that you’re likely to have lying around in your kitchen,
but ancient Roman cupboards would have been crammed full of canaries.
These crunchy little morsels were considered a delicacy at the best of
times; they were thought to be especially helpful for hangovers. There
doesn’t seem to be any scientific backing to the benefits of eating small
birds to cure a fuzzy head, but then logic doesn’t exactly go hand-in-hand
with drunkenness.

If you are tempted to tuck into your gran’s pet instead of a takeout,
you will need to prepare and cook it thoroughly and make sure there’s
a cat close by that can take the blame for your unusual hangover cravings.


If
you’ve ever had one too many, woken up with a throbbing head, a churning
stomach, and an overwhelming sense of remorse, this book has your name
on it. 50
Ways to Cure a Hangover

by Cara Frost-Sharratt is the perfect pocket guide to surviving the morning
after.

50 tips and tricks to banish the dreaded hangover – some tried and tested,
some weird and wonderful, and some downright ridiculous. With 30 comic
line drawings by Jason Ford, if it doesn’t ease the pain, it will at least
bring a smile.

Cara
Frost-Sharratt
is a freelance features writer and the author of Spruce’s
Beards: A Spotter’s Guide
and How to Get Rid of Things.

Jason
Ford
's lifelong obsession with comic books and French 'Bande Dessinée'
informs the line work of his images. His illustrations have been featured
in Esquire, The Economist, The New York Times, Nickelodeon and
The Guardian.

50 Ways to Cure a Hangover is available at Amazon
and bookstores near you.


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