5 people having a worse Monday than you.

5. The Spawn of Van Der Sloot –¬†If any blonde babies suddenly begin "disappearing" from daycare centers in Aruba nine months from now, you'll know why.¬†Actually, we're not sure who to feel worse for in this scenario: the woman deluded enough to become this slimeball's conjugal visit groupie, the inevitably homicidal fetus now growing inside of her, or all the people out there who are officially having less sex than a convicted murderer.